For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm getting married
To pizza
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
