and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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