11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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