fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
