Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
