oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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