I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
