Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
