My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
