quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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