I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
