the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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