wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
