I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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