I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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