Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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