Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
