forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
