Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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