Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
We left the knife in your bed.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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