I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
