and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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