Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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