SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Randomize
