I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize