Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
