I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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