With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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