how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
