three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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