i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
