I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
They have beer where we have blood.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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