I bet he comes in French.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize