when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
