see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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