So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize