bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize