it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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