I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You made out with two different species that night
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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