he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
