Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
this just has baby written all over it
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
So squirting runs in the family.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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