Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
In America we eat man semen.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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