You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
