she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
