HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize