just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
