Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
