i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize