Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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