If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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