That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
