Umm I'm too high to move.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
