break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
soo... how was my night?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
