his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
NoShamevember. You game?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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