I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
