he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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