I have demons in me.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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