this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
