Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
