My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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