i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
