he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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