He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
