I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
