She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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