I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
