I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She told me I should be a condom model.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
