Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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