she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
