I wanna bring you to show and tell
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
