you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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