i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
